I didn't include this in the post, but there are 26,001 people with my first name and 21,413 people with my last name... and though they say that there are 2 people with my name, I'm willing to bet there are at least three of us, considering it's only been mine for less than a year, and the website probably doesn't have access to that record anyway.

But it does explain why when I google myself with quotes I never get any results.