Of Course....

As if I'm not feeling bad enough, Liz had to call me today and ask to go look at bridesmaids dresses this weekend (which I can't, of course, so we're doing it the 20th)... Takeshi was supposed to be my date. I haven't told her yet that he is no longer going to be my date and I know she's going to be concerned I won't have one. Which is kinda retarded really. But she was worried like 2 years ago that I wasn't going to have a date, since her other two bridesmaids are married already. I should bring a girl date and freak out her Catholic family XD But seriously, its hard to try to sound happy on the phone to her and my mother.

I think I've decided what I'm going to email back to him. I'm not going to bother to write it all here, but in short, I'm going to tell him that I'm sorry if I had done anything to not make him feel he was good enough for me and if there is anything I can do to prove that he is more than good enough for me. I'm also going to say that if this is the only way he can be happy, I need to respect this decision because really, his happiness is more important than my own (as sappy as that sounds). That's pretty much all I can think of. If this is what is going to make him happy, I need to accept that. From what it sounds, he's been a lot more unhappy than he has let on.

Manda did save the day though, and brought me an emo burger, that I'm eating with emo popcorn and drinking emo tea. That's just the kinda day its been.

It is Done

I spent a good hour and a half just staring at the email I sent him before actually sending it. But I sent it, and I don't know if its going to help anything. I said pretty much what I said I was going to say in my last entry. I noticed while staring at the email that he sent it from a different address than usual. @yahoo.es. He's going to Spain. He had been there this summer for a few weeks, and Spain and Spanish are his real areas of expertise, so I guess that is where he is going. He didn't say that but that is my assumption. That is the only place I can imagine him going if he's not staying in Japan.

I think it is really over. I've changed Eiji's last name, since it was the same as Takeshi's to Todoroki, since I'm having so much Tomu love right now and I love the way it sounds. Even though he's just a doll, there is no way I could bear him having the same last name. I need to update his stuff on the AR database on DOA anyways.

I'm going to attempt to cut my own hair tomorrow. That should be amusing in itself. I hope it can get it at least even. My bangs need trimming anyways.